How many men have you slept with?

A study out today says that one in ten women lie to their partners about how many previous lovers they’ve had. I can’t work out if that’s surprising or not but what does stagger me is why this conversation is happening in Stradas across the land in the first place. To my mind, this has ‘DON’T GO THERE’ scrawled all over it. For myriad reasons.


One. Everyone goes on about how ‘age aint nothing but a number.’ Well, why not the same judgement-free attitude towards sex? The fact that we worry about putting our number ‘out there’ shows that this bit of information is still loaded with assumption. I’ve heard all kinds of sane, smart men and women reel off their own utterly arbitrary rules on this. ‘More than 15 will make him think I’m easy. Less than 10 and I’ll look inexperienced...’ (Misguided.) ‘If I say the truth – three – he’ll think I’m frigid.’ (And you’re dating him because...?) ‘Saying more than 25 would make her feel insecure...’ (Misguided and offensive. Blimey. The double!)

Two. Why is it anyone’s business? Yes, of course you need to delve into your sexual past if a trip to the STI clinic has revealed you’ve got a very intimate NBF but since when did this conversation become a given? You’ve agreed to date this person, not endure an Apprentice-style grilling on your sex CV. If the question comes up, how about a simple ‘I don’t think that’s really relevant... Now tell me, if you could be any fish, what kind of fish would you be?’ (Trust me, this is the kind of question you want to be asking on dates. Piranha, yowch! But kinda hot. Goldfish... oh dear.)


And anyway, how come so many of you can pluck this number out of the ether anyway? I was an avid list-maker as a teenager. In fact, I had colour-coded lists so I could keep track of ‘boys I fancy’, ‘boys who potentially fancy me’ and ‘boys who are a sort’ (that was 1990s burbs-speak for ‘hot’). But I honestly couldn’t tell you how many men I’ve kissed or slept with. I can barely remember what I had for dinner last night.

So can we all agree that sex isn’t a numbers game? Give up the mental tally. Quit the grilling. And let’s see every new relationship  for what it is: a fresh start. And a chance to ask people about the fish they most represent...


More love and sex articles from Competitions


Editor’s note:Yahoo Philippines encourages responsible comments that add dimension to the discussion. No bashing or hate speech, please. You can express your opinion without slamming others or making derogatory remarks.

Most Popular

  • Do You Have a Bowel Problem?

    Do You Have a Bowel Problem?

    Healthy Living - Tue, Apr 22, 2014 10:34 PM PHT
    Do You Have a Bowel Problem?

    Those sweets are just one category of "fermentable carbohydrates," foods that can wreak havoc on some people's guts (another common irritating class is lactose), causing diarrhea, gas and/or bloating. …

  • Weight Loss Mistakes Beginners Make

    Weight Loss Mistakes Beginners Make

    Healthy Living - Mon, Apr 21, 2014 10:38 PM PHT
    Weight Loss Mistakes Beginners Make

    Weight-loss rookies beware: despite your best efforts, you may be making some well-intentioned mistakes that not only halt your progress, but can actually cause weight gain, leaving you feeling anything but motivated. …

  • The Shocking Reason You May Be Tired

    The Shocking Reason You May Be Tired

    Healthy Living - Fri, Apr 18, 2014 11:33 PM PHT
    The Shocking Reason You May Be Tired

    So my doctor prescribed two medications, including a synthetic thyroid hormone to replace what my body was having trouble making. It turns out that my story is actually quite common, especially since the risk for thyroid disorders tends to increase as you get older-and women are up to eight times more likely than men to develop one. I was also surprised to learn that having an underactive thyroid is the most common problem, but it can be tricky to diagnose. The gold standard for measuring …

  • 15 Things Introverts Love

    15 Things Introverts Love

    Healthy Living - 11 hours ago
    15 Things Introverts Love

    You're all in favor of a long conversation with a friend. But small talk with strangers? Not so much. …

  • If You See the Word “Detox,” Run--and 5 Other Diet Claims Never to Believe

    If You See the Word “Detox,” Run--and 5 Other Diet Claims Never to Believe

    Healthy Living - Fri, Apr 18, 2014 9:41 PM PHT
    If You See the Word “Detox,” Run--and 5 Other Diet Claims Never to Believe

    If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. By Ava Feuer, REDBOOK. …

Poll Choice Options