The male ego stands as a testimonial to many wars won or lost,
many relationships broken or enhanced, and several lives affected, especially in the history of Indian culture and society. We live in times when factors like dowry, male domination and joint family pressure are no longer the aspects governing relationships. Women are independent both financially and emotionally. The society we live in no longer runs on the principles and policies defined by men alone. So, where does the male ego stand amidst this scenario? Moreover, what are the positive and negative repercussions of nurturing this ego?
The Male Ego: Its Positive Side
So, with all this information about the changing ways of Indian society, is it still considered a boon to nurture an ego? Well, yes, if you use it correctly, that is. Here are some instances of the same:
1. Displaying Chivalry
Acts of chivalry shall always be considered gratifying components of the male ego in the history of human society. Ours is no different. While it is accepted that women prefer splitting bills over dinner dates, and paying half the time for the coffee, it is an unspoken norm to insist to pay, and only allow her to, to humour her. Offering her your jacket after dinner, opening the door for her as the two of you leave, and offering to pick her up from her home, are just a few of those clichéd acts that still hold their charm in the modern-day world.
2. Relationship Domination
While men and women share equal amounts of responsibility, financial liabilities and opinion regarding household matters, it is the male ego that does not permit many men to allow their women to take the larger share of the burden upon themselves. Being ‘man of the house’ should be applicable if you can make your family feel secure with your presence, and not dominate over them in all possible matters.
3. Responsible Citizen
If you must assert it, let it be in the case of social injustice. Yes, if you cannot tolerate cases of unfair treatment towards women, children or animals, do not stop your male ego from going ahead and raising your voice, taking a step to help or putting your soul to a cause. Leading the way, or at least being part of an initiative, are fantastic ways of feeding an ego.
The Darker Side of the Male Ego: What to Avoid
While allowing one’s ego to stay in check or display itself are cases discussed more easily than possible to practice, it is the instances of masculine authority being impressed unnecessarily that require to be corrected. Following are some stark cases:
1. Seeking Dowry
If you do not seek dowry, but are a silent spectator as your family asserts its rights simply on the basis of being from the ‘boy’s side’, your male ego is less worthy than ever. Alter the situation by standing up against the practice and asserting your ego in the right manner.
2. Dominating Partner
Perhaps the most obvious manner of displaying the male ego at its worst is in a relationship. Simply because you are the man, you do not have the right to walk over your partner. Listen to her advice as often as possible and follow it too. Be less demanding and dominating and enjoy the connection that the two of you share, based on this level of understanding.
Nurturing an ego only draws more flak than reap any benefits. When put to a fruitful use or a cause, it may serve a better purpose. However, knowing the difference would help any man curb the instinct to use it otherwise.
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