The idea of a soul mate is very romantic: That there is someone out there meant just for you, and when you find him, your souls will speak to each other, and you will just know you were meant to be together. And you will live happily ever after.
There is even an ancient Greek belief made popular by Aristotle that our souls were divided before going down to earth so we spend our lives searching for our other half, our missing piece, our soul mate.
What is a soul mate?
According to energy healer, personal development coach, and workshop facilitator Lia Bernardo, “A soul mate is someone you have a deep connection with. You can have more than one soul mate. Soul mates can be romantic or not.”
Thirty-year-old Tania* agrees. “I do believe in soul mates. There are some people that you just get along with famously and there are others that you just can’t seem to gel with. In some, you recognize a kindred spirit right away and you latch on to that person. It’s happened to me quite often.”
Romantic soul mates
More common than the friendship soul mate is the romantic soul mate. “All your romantic relationships are soul mate relationships,” says Bernardo. “But whether the relationship is harmonious or not depends on many different factors such as karma, your relationship with yourself, and the energy you are putting out there among other things.”
Twenty-five-year-old Mike* agrees that we determine who our soul mates are: “I do believe in soul mates, but I don't think they are pre-destined for us from the moment we're born. I think depending on the decisions we make through the course of our lives, that's what shapes who our soul mate will be. But yes, I believe that there is one person that we are meant to be with—that there is one person out there that can make us happier than anyone else ever could.”
Tania shares the same sentiments: “I liked to believe when I was single that there was really someone meant for me, making it more romantic and of course taking the pressure off me for choosing someone for myself. As if the universe had already chosen him. But now that I know relationships are work, I think it’s better to believe that you have several soul mates but you still have the power to do the choosing.”
How do you find your soul mate?
“The best way to describe it is a soul recognition or a soul knowing,” explains Bernardo. “It is almost as if you are vibrating in the same frequency.”
However, she warns that finding your soul mate also depends on where you are as a person. “Remember that the relationship you will manifest will reflect how you feel about yourself. Also you may have beliefs that you are not even aware of that are preventing you from meeting your most compatible romantic soul mate. I teach people how to clear limiting beliefs or clear blocks that are preventing you from having a deep and harmonious romantic relationship with your most compatible romantic soul mate.”
So if you want to find your most compatible soul mate, you need to work on yourself first. “The traits you develop are within yourself,” Bernardo says. “It is the law of attraction at play here and like will always attract like. So you develop in yourself the traits you would like to have in your soul mate.”
But it can end
Finding your soul mate doesn’t mean you’re set for life. This is probably why 27-year-old Carla* no longer believes in them. “I used to,” she says. “But today, I'm not so sure anymore about whether or not one has a soul mate. I once thought that I had met him, but it ended in disappointment.”
“Bear in mind that sometimes relationships end not because you failed but because both of you have already learned your lessons and that it is time to move on, or that one is growing and the other one does not want to grow. There are many reasons why relationships end,” reassures Bernardo.
The best way to look at this is not that you’re predestined for someone and you’ve missed your chance if you’re already past the age of fifty and haven’t found him yet or if you once had him but lost him. You have several soul mates out there to choose from, several people who you will attract and get along with. But what’s important is you must focus on working on yourself first. Become the best person you can be and the soul mate you will find will also be the best person for you.
Yahoo! SHE asks: Do you believe in soul mates? If yes, have you found yours?
Lia Bernardo teaches a class on Soul Mates: how to find them, how to keep them, and how to prepare yourself for them through Theta Healing. There is a class on July 21 at Pacific Plaza Condominium, Ayala Avenue, Makati City from 1 to 6 PM. Call 0917-5860036 to reserve your slot.