If any relationship is to work, compromises must be made between both parties. It’s also been said that a lot of women in particular get into relationships with the mentality that they can change whatever undesirable features they see in the men they choose as partners. The last thing you would probably want to do to someone you love is to change what they truly are, but there are things that guys may be willing to change about themselves to show how much you girls mean to them.
What You Can Change
1. Giving up “boys’ night out” is doable. Once a guy enters into a relationship, one of the first things that he gives up is a lot of time spent with his barkada. “The boys” have to take a backseat because the priorities have changed. The old “inuman sessions” need not fade away entirely, but they should grow less frequent since the guy will have to spend more quality time with his girl.
2. You can ask him to give up his toys. Most guys are oversized children who, now that they have steady incomes, will want to buy different toys for themselves. It might be a pair of retro Jordan shoes. It might be a fully articulated 2006 Voltes V toy. It could be the latest tablet computer. Whatever you may call it, you can ask him to splurge less. Serious relationships often have both sides thinking of saving together for more important future expenses.
3. You can help choose his clothes, just don’t force him into things he doesn’t want to wear. Yes, guys are generally slobs. Hence the term “metrosexual” came about for that freak of nature known as the straight guy who dresses well. Ladies can help guys choose what clothes she thinks their man will look good in. Women are also allowed to choose certain combinations of clothes that she sincerely thinks will make their guy even more appealing to them. Just don’t force us into things that are the opposite of what we are. If a guy says he won’t wear a cardigan, don’t make him wear one. Subtle suggestions are good, nagging isn’t.
4. Concerns about his health are always good. It’s only natural for women to want to ask their partner to give up smoking or lessen the drinking or simply eat healthier. After all, you chose to be with these guys so you want to make the experience long and healthy for both of you.
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The Untouchables
1. Let him watch his sports. Most guys love sports. If they’re not actual participants, they’re watching either the NBA, PBA, UAAP, NFL, UFC, or even WWE. These things help guys live out their athletic fantasies (even for just a little bit) and the sports also help keep them in reasonable shape. It’s paramount that you let your man have this for himself. If he offers to bring you along, you can choose to politely decline, but joining him in the experience will be greatly appreciated.
2. Allow him a vice or two. As mentioned earlier, some guys enjoy collecting toys or shoes. Other guys read comics and graphic novels. Still others love playing video games. Let your man have a few of these things if possible. After all, it’s more than likely that some (or all) of these things helped make him the guy you fell in love with in the first place. He’ll still want to spend quality time with you but let him enjoy a little “me time” every so often with these very manageable vices.
At the end of the day, as much as you may want to change your man or ask him to evolve, you should know what kind of relationship you got into and what kind of man this is at his core. Asking him to do things politely can go a long way not just in getting him to modify things about himself, it can also make life more pleasant for you girls so it never hurts to do that simplest of things… talk to your man.
Yahoo! Philippines SHE asks Pinays: "What have you asked your partners to do, stop doing, or change for you? How did you convince him?"
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