We all know celebs don’t adhere to the standard relationship rules (or many rules in life for that matter). They marry inappropriate partners, sign away their painstakingly earned millions by refusing to sign prenups (because their love is too genuine), live everything at lightning speed and make sure everyone knows the intimate details.
And this week, Melanie Sykes achieved all of the above (except the prenup part, although prenups don’t hold up in court in the UK so it’s kind of true).
The 42-year-old mum of two announced her engagement to Jack Cockings, an unknown roofer, who’s 16 years her junior. My first issue isn’t to do with the fact that his toyboy status is making Madonna look like a bit of a prude, it’s the fact that the pair met through Twitter - after he’d already been turned down for dates by Cheryl Cole and Jodie Marsh. Hmm, anyone smell a fame groupie?
Cynicism aside, the pair went on a date and fell in love. And unless you were hiding under a large rock somewhere, there’s no way you couldn’t have known about it.
The saucy tweets started immediately – provocative photos of Melanie in her underwear, another reading "Jack the rabbit I need some bunny love so hop to it!! Xxx boing boing!!! Loooooool xxxxxxx", before adding, "'I've got the raging horn, please take me". Jack classily posted, “Tweeting whilst hanging out the back of Miss Sykes”. Cringe.
So I doubt it came as much of a shock to anyone to hear of their speedy engagement this week. Celebs love nothing more than living their lives in fast forward and Mel is a consummate pro.
She married her first husband, actor Daniel Caltagirone only three months after meeting him. Whilst that relationship lasted eight years and produced two lovely little boys, I’m sure I’m not the only one to have had a sharp intake of breath when she announced she was marrying her unknown Twitter romance.
Why the rush? Why can’t Mel and Jack (who both have children) just enjoy the dating part of their relationship? After all, it’s the best bit. You’ve got the rest of your lives together to endure shared bathrooms and beige underwear. Ultimately, if your love is strong enough to survive marriage, surely you can withstand the wait that allows you to get to know each other properly.
The couple that you become once you’ve settled into a more comfortable routine and that lusty flame has dimmed a little. It’s not just their lives they need to think about, it’s the affect it has on their children too.
I’m not judging – my own parents got engaged six weeks after they met and they’re still going 35 years later. But let’s just hope Jack is a romantic butterfly who’s ready to settle for good and not flit onto his next celebrity Twitter crush. Sceptic? Moi?
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