Why arguing with mum could be a good thing

Christmas may be a time for family get-togethers but it can also be a time of tension - and it's often our nearest and dearest that we argue with the most.

While no one likes to fight, it turns out that having disagreements with your mum could actually be a positive thing.

According to child psychologists, teenagers who argue with their mums are less likely to succumb to peer pressure and turn to drink and drugs.

Researchers say that it's better to be honest and open - even if that leads to a row - than bottle things up, and those of us who are able to stand up to our mums over disagreements with a boyfriend or college work, are more likely to resist peer pressure.

ARE YOU TURNING INTO YOUR MOTHER?

Experts believe that arguments with mum, rather than dad, have the most beneficial effect as we're more likely to use reasoned arguments when arguing with her than any other family member.

Child psychologists in America looked at the behaviour of both teenagers – studied from aged 13 to 16 – and their parents.

15 WAYS TO DIFFUSE AN ARGUMENT

They discovered: "Teens who more openly express their own viewpoints in discussions with their mums, even if their viewpoints disagree, are more likely than others to resist peer pressure to use drugs or drink.

"Teens who hold their own in family discussions were better at standing up to peer influences to use drugs or alcohol. Among the best protected were teens who had learned to argue well with their mums about such topics as grades, money, household rules, and friends.”

While the findings suggest that having disagreements can help, the important point is the regular contact with a parent, and a mother in particular.

The study concluded "Teens who are secure in their ability to turn to their mothers under stress are less likely to end up feeling overly dependent upon close friends. Thus, they are less likely to be influenced by a friend’s behaviour."

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