Anger in children is not essentially a sign of insubordination.
While most parents tend to punish their children for expressing their temperament, they inadvertently fuel further discord instead of helping them deal with their emotions. Here are some ways to effectively manage their anger.
1. Evaluating the Cause
Parents are responsible for fostering a safe environment for their children to develop both physically and emotionally. When dealing with a temperamental child, a parent needs to evaluate the cause of anger and work on eliminating the chances altogether. Children are hugely emotional and are susceptible to the slightest of changes in the household environment. The causes for sudden spurts of rage can result from feelings of helplessness to their inability to express their innermost feelings. Parents deeming such behaviour as insubordination are inadvertently causing more harm than good. Instead of teaching them to suppress their emotions, they should help them adopt ways of expressing their anger in a healthy way.
2. Unconditional Support
A child, whether angry or placid, needs unconditional support from his or her parents. Children are far too young and impressionable to be able to deal with anger on their own. They expect their parents to guide them through the process. In this case, letting the child know that he can count on you for support will help regulate his anger into healthier directions. Increased emotional attachment in the parent-child relationship can do away with any such anger-related issues for good.
3. No Reprimanding
Using anger to deal with your kid’s rage issues is a bad way to approach this problem. Most parents tend to treat their children’s moody behaviour as signs of indiscipline. To correct their insubordinate behaviour, they resort to harsh measures which only make matters worse. Children should be taught to express their anger in a healthy way instead of suppressing it. To facilitate this, parents need to alter their aggressive approach. While it is beneficial to be authoritative, expressing too much authority might have a negative impact on the psychology of the child. A gentle and pleasant approach will calm your child enough to evaluate the cause of his rage and eliminate it completely.
4. Positive Feedback
The practice of rewarding children when they behave well is a good way to curb inappropriate displays of emotions. Children are easily motivated to conduct themselves when they know that they will be appreciated for the same. Learn to empathize with your kids and rationalize your decisions to them. Not only will this make them inculcate the habit of thinking logically, but will also foster positive feelings for the issues at hand. At the end of the day, children want their parents to pay attention. If you can devote some time to genuinely interact with your children, you will help reduce their anger-issues considerably.
5. Proper Communication
A child is often brimming with stories to tell and all he needs is someone to listen. With strenuous professional lives encroaching upon the home-front it has become increasingly difficult to devote time to their needs. This fosters frustration, loneliness and depression among children. Even if you cannot spend time with your children, it is important to let them know that you care for them just as much. If the parent can communicate his feelings effectively, a child has no cause for harbouring any negativity.
6. Create a Safe Emotional Environment
Fostering a healthy environment for your child to express his varied emotions in is a very important step in managing future outbursts of rage. A child needs to feel safe and secure. Any stroke of unfamiliarity or insecurity might trigger his helplessness. When it comes to dealing with anger, children have a starkly different way of dealing with them. While adults rage over logical issues, children are increasingly bothered by emotional viability. Building a familiar environment, thus, creates a sense of security, which does away with unpleasant feelings and gives the child the impetus to recognize and deal with his emotions.
7. Teach them to Develop Self-Regulatory Skills
While it heartening to be at your child’s aid every step of the way, some parents like their children to inculcate self-sufficiency from an early age. Teaching children to regulate their tempers can actually aid them in controlling their emotions in the long run. This step involves helping the child identify the emotion and control it effectively. With enough practice, the child can learn to identify the elements that spark his anger and make him stay away from it. As the child grows up, he will learn to have greater control over his other emotions as well.
8. Proactive Authority
While it is extremely dissuading to adopt an aggressive approach in helping your child manage his anger issues, a little display of authority cannot hurt. Some authoritative guidance can clearly demarcate permissible modes of expression and help him stay away from unforgivable conducts. Instead of being negative about his requests, a parent can adopt a proactive stance on the appropriate implementation of his desires. Offering the child healthy alternatives to dealing with his rage by accompanying him for a walk or talking about it can help bring the areas of concern to light.
9. Redirect Anger
An excellent parental figure knows how to deal with their child’s counterproductive emotions without resorting to corporal punishments. The most effective way to teach the child to deal with his emotions is to redirect it towards something productive. Let your child release his emotions through a creative project, or even something as banal as punching a pillow. Distract his attention by offering him something he likes. Not only will this alleviate his pent-up aggression, but will also help him express his emotions in a healthy way.
By following the suggested steps you will be able to manage your child’s anger issues effectively.
More on MensXP.com...